Well so I was going to start posting more...
and then I had a bike accident.  A really really bad bike accident.  I ended up in the hospital for weeks and I'm still not completely recovered.
Ok.
You know I was ok with it at first.  My friends would visit me and people would wish me well and yada yada ya, all the stuff that happens when you get sick.  
Anyway I was not getting better and people stopped coming. 
Then I landed in the hospital.  NO FUN!  Especially when the only channels you get have little to no crime shows on them! AHH THE HORROR! On top of that I couldn't read.  I had a brain injury so for almost 2 months I could not read.  In other words, my own personal hell. 
Well then people started coming again and now they've stopped.  And what hurts the most is that they don't call, they don't even email.  And hey I can understand that they have their own lives but... people I know from online, like those of you reading this and others -cough- fanfiction-cough- have been very quick to ask me how I'm doing and keep inquiring on a regular basis.  Maybe it's just because they have no lives.- I'm not saying you don't have a life I'm just saying that some of you might not.  you probably do though because well...because.
Another thing that bugs me, some of the people who do write me write about how much they hate their lives. Now I understand that I'm a pretty easy person to talk to and I can help lots of people sort out their feelings... but telling me that your pissed because you had to wait in line at an amusement park pisses me off because I'm stuck at home 24/7 and the doctors tell me I'll be lucky if I can ever go to an amusement park ever again so YEA ME!

So that was my little rant about well... me and my good luck. I'm on the very very very slow road to recovery and I'm getting better.

mood: aggravated tags: accidents, bikes

 Well I don't usually post but I figured that since I'm getting so many friends suddenly I might want to.  Also I'm soooo happy I just need to tell as many people as possible!
Today I played an intense audition (I play the tuba) and I made it into a program where next year I'll be going to Japan!!! So that takes a huge amount of stress off me.
In other words, for those of you who read my fanfic, it should be coming out a bit faster now.  Then again if I have a writers block not so fast.

I'm a bit of a rambler so if I change topics a lot I am very sorry.  

I'm very excited about Life.  I hope they renew the season, I would be devestated if it were cut.  I just love Crews and the relationship between him and Reese.  
Ok that's it for now.  I'll try to work on making these longer!  (that is if anyone actually reads this)

 I know it's a little early but I just wanted to wish you a 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

what are
    my friends?
         are they just
             there? or are
                they there for
                   a reason you
                      may ask to me
                           my friends point
                               me in my direction
                                     they point me to the
                                        place that i must go
                                           in the end. It is not
a bad place or a place that I fear, it is the place
 that I shall call Home a place where all shall be
remembered and none forget a place where the
weary shall rest and the strong may weak.  it is a
place where all is allowed and nothing shall be
                                             forbidden food for the
                                           hungry and water for
                                         those with thirst and
                                       it will be a place for
                                    those with the same
                                 dream as me, a will
                               that their friends will
                            point them in the
                           same direction
                         a direction that
                       will make the
                    world a better
                place for those
             who need it the
          most.  And may
       we someday
    stand up and
 say that it was
the friends
who pointed us in that direction

location: room mood: apathetic music: none tags: changing the world, friends, helping those in need

Essay
    must write it
       but it doesn't
flow like this does
                                                       must be written in a form
unlike
             this
                                                                                                                         where it doesn't
really matter         at all
                                                                                                                                                                      but if it did
                    would it really matter?

mood: okay music: Auld Lang Syne (on tuba)

Why
Is it
written
that
life
must
be lived
a
certain
way.                        from
                                  what
                                     I know
                                        it isn't
                                           but where
                                              ever you go
                                                 and what ever
                                                        you do people
                                                             are always telling
                                                                   you different then
                                                                         what you want
                                                                      and every once
                                                              in a while someone
                                                         doesn't and then
                                                nobody knows
                                            what to do.                                                       

mood: discontent music: the beating of my heart

I don't know how to cope with my friends.  Over half of them are boys and they all want to ask me out (I think).  I love them all as friends and i like some of them more then that, but what do I do?!?
My mom doesn't think that  I should date yet so boy is that a problem!  I mean I tried dating a few boys but I just ended up destroying our friendship and I don't want to keep doing that.  I just am not ready, but how do I say that to boys who look at a window and think of sex?  To them I'm really the only girl they really talk to, so who better to date!?! AHHH how do I deal with these things? How do I deal with everything?!?

location: Bed mood: uncomfortable music: bubbly tags: boyfriends, boys, dating, friends

ahh yes the joy of writing
it leaves you wondering what is the true person?
is it the one who is doing the writing or the one who is buried underneath?
do they write for fun or to get their emotions out?
why do we write?
why as humans do we write?
why do the people here write?

mood: contemplative music: breathe (2am)